the big book of birth blog

Birth or vote?

A few days ago, I was contacted by a student who had questions about absentee ballots. It seems that a woman who has a due date near or on Election Day is eligible for an absentee ballot but according to the NYC Board of Elections her partner is not! Rather odd that at a moment where the future of the country is more personally relevant than ever, a partner may have to make a last minute choice to witness their child coming into the world or participate in our great democracy. Here’s my advice partners, dads and husbands - LIE and get an absentee ballot for travel. It’s time to get your votes in there, parents!

And of course, don’t forget to get an absentee ballot yourself if you’re due soon!

New York Family Magazine

Over the summer, I had the pleasure of coffee with Eric Messenger, the Editor of New York Family Magazine. As a beautiful glossy ‘zine, New York Family is redefining the freebie family publication in NYC. Focusing on entrepreneurial moms, and trying to list every possible resource for parents whether it’s practical, educational, consumer or just plain fun, their writers are networking around the city to find the real lowdown in a way I haven’t seen journalists try to do in a long time.

In fact, even though we’ve been covered numerous times by major media - The Today Show, Time Out Kids, and New York Magazine to name a few! - one of my favourite quotes comes from a story in New York Family magazine. The writer was a mother who had actually used some of our programs so she had experienced first hand how helpful they could be.

The mom interviewed me at a moment where I was bogged down by training staff, running two physical spaces, and compiling reports for investors, but her interview reminded me of just how much we had accomplished! How often does a reporter remind one of the bigger more important picture when caught up in the daily minutia of living ones dream?!

“We’ve helped five thousand families feel like they’re not going crazy”
- New York Family article on Realbirth, April 2008

New York Family is doing a Family Expo over the next two weekends. For all of you out their with new babies through to big kids, I encourage you to check it out and see what’s happening around town. Events are happening on the Upper West Side, Upper East Side and in Brooklyn, and you can register to win a vacation and attend. Oh, and you can also always find free copies of New York Family at Realbirth!

Trying To Take Back Childbirth

Abc.com recently published an interesting article entitled "Trying to Take Back Natural Childbirth," written by Susan Donaldson James. The article takes a look at both sides of the childbirth debate - the mom who is planning a natural childbirth, and another mom who is planning to have an epidural.

Although the article was sparked by a staff member at ABC who was surprised at how hard it was to find a doctor in New York City who would be supportive of the couple trying for natural childbirth, the piece does well not to show bias and instead explains the different perspectives regarding what a woman needs or wants from her birth environment in order to cope.

What I find funny about conversations about "the woman who wants to do natural childbirth" and "the woman who wants an epidural" is the defensiveness. Saying that women are trying to take back childbirth, and yet implying that the way to take it back is through advocating natural childbirth is still missing the point. 'Taking back childbirth' isn't about how we decide as individual women to cope. Instead, it's about understanding what happens to our bodies and being respected enough in a moment of vulnerability that the professionals around us will have what we need - whether that's medications or jacuzzi's and massage. The article does a good job explaining the frustration women are having at finding practitioners and facilities that understand that individuality and provide a range of coping choices.

The more critical aspect of 'taking back childbirth' is about curbing our race to excessive surgery. A woman now has a one in three chance of a surgical delivery, according to the recently released 2006 NYC Department of Health statistics. Don't get me wrong, surgery has a time and place, but not 31% of the time – and this is a surgical shift that has occurred in just one generation. If we're going to take back birth, we need to start understanding why it's a good idea to have a baby come out of our vagina - both for our body and for the baby. Our vaginas are multi-use works of evolutionary perfection, and women need to have equal access to doctors and midwives who are skilled and trained to birth babies out of them.

When women understand how their body works, how their baby works, how reproduction works, how evolution worked and how medicine can support them but not play god, they no longer live in fear of the myths and the pain, but rather see it as a process that is doable in one way or another. That's taking it back.